Okay so there was a huge bunch of people living on Earth and
they were extremely crazy and everything was not okay. God was like “Okay I am
so done with this life,” and he started plotting to kill everyone. There was
this one guy, though, who God saw, and God said to himself, “Now that guy, THAT
guy knows how to live.” This guy was Noah, and he happened to fall upon God’s
nice list. God went to Noah and was like, “Hey man, do me this favor. Build a
boat. Hide your kids, hide your wives, and hide your animals, cuz they killin’ everybody
out here.” So he did and there was this huge flood and everything that wasn’t
on the boat died.
If you tell me that you do not think that elephants are the
bomb, you need to reevaluate your life. For real though, I pray for your soul.
You need Jesus or Allah or Buddha in your life. For one thing, nobody even
messes with elephants because they are so bad ass. Lions see an elephant and
just walk away because they know they aren’t ready for that jelly. Secondly,
elephants GRIEVE. They have emotions and feels and whatnot. They “cry” when one
of their own dies, and can even die of a broken heart. Thirdly, elephants can’t
jump. What up with that?
Fun fact: a rhino at a zoo attacked a baby elephant and the other elephants beat the crap out of it and killed it.
Fun fact: elephant babies go through puberty and when they do they can become so stressed out because omg nobody understands them and so they throw tantrums.
Fun fact: elephants are matriarchal.
Fun fact: elephants carry their babies for two years. Couldn't do it.
Fun fact: a rhino at a zoo attacked a baby elephant and the other elephants beat the crap out of it and killed it.
Fun fact: elephant babies go through puberty and when they do they can become so stressed out because omg nobody understands them and so they throw tantrums.
Fun fact: elephants are matriarchal.
Fun fact: elephants carry their babies for two years. Couldn't do it.
No comments:
Post a Comment