Bow and Eros

The myth of Daphne and Apollo starts when Apollo makes fun of Eros because of his weapon of choice, the bow and arrow. Eros is all like "Yo I'm not gonna let him diss me for drivin a Kia Sorento just cuz he whippin an Audi R8.. My Sorento got Keyless entry AND gets better gas mileage."

So Eros takes one arrow made of lead and one arrow made of gold and shoots the first into Daphne and the second into Apollo. Daphne is filled with disgust for Apollo, but he is infused with the deepest of love for her.

Houston, we have a problem.

So while Daphne is running as far away from his as possible, Apollo is busy growing a pencil thin mustache, selling his Audi and trading it in for a used ice cream truck, and cruising around at dusk constantly looking for Daphne.

Apollo finally catches up to her (they always do, be careful ladies) and Daphne begs her father Peneus to help her, and he turns her into a laurel tree. Apollo, for some reason, thought he had won, and vows to keep the tree alive forever. He also promises that her leaves would decorate the heads of leaders as crowns.

I hope to be forever young. I understand that we have to grow up and get old and wrinkly but I wanna be young at heart. I have no interest in speculating on eternal life or all that junk, I just wanna have a fulfilling life and always be fun and positive to be around. And I hope 50 years from now, when I see the name Peneus, I still giggle because it sounds a little bit like "penis".