My brother the dinosaur

Okay so with Cain and Abel what basically happened was that their parents did it and Cain was born first and then later Abel. This turned out to be somewhat problematic evidently. Following those two events, Abel tended to flocks of sheep and Cain was more of a soil and crop kinda dude. One day God was like, "Hey, boys, how 'bout an offering?"
And the brothers were like "Sure, bro, no problem."
So Cain brought some fruit and Abel brought some sheep fat and gave their offerings to God. For whatever reason, God looked at Abel and was like, "Yeah nice job, dude."
Then he looked at Cain and was all, "Meh."
 <---- the emotions of Cain after God totally dissed his offering.
God came back to Cain and was like, "You mad, bro?"
And Cain was like, "Yeah, for sure."
To which God responded with, "Should've done right by me, my man."
So Cain then is just like, "Uhm really???"
So finally Cain is just done with life for the day and was talking to Abel and suddenly he's all, "Hey, Abel, let's go out in that field man."
And Abel is all, "Sure thing, bro."
So they do and Cain gets his sin on by murdering his brother because he was so jelli.
After that, God comes back to Cain and is like, "Uhm where's your brother....?"
And Cain says, "I don't know. Do I look like his mama?"
Obviously God didn't appreciate Cain's sassiness because then after that he cursed him and Cain could never grow crops again.

My brother and I have had sibling rivalry since the moment we knew he existed. In fact, it just so happened that the day he was born, I was so ill, I had to go to the hospital with my mother while she was in labor because my parents were that concerned and wanted me checked out.
I have always called that a sign from the universe.
Since that day, my brother and I have battled a fifteen year long war. It began with hair pulling, and escalated from that. He is known for having bit me, and I am known for having punched him. It wouldn't even have to have been provoked.
For example, one day while I was swinging, Jacob decided my turn was up and yanked me off the swing and bit me on my back. I returned with a fist to his lip.
Needless to say, we were spanked a lot.
To this day, Jacob and I still argue and fight. I doubt it'll change any time soon.

This is Jacob and I when we were younger jumping off the top of my bed, the same bed I have to this day. If you look to the left, you'll see on the wall the remains of what Jacob had drawn on my wall earlier that day.
 I don't think I would really be a big sister if I didn't post this.
The unfortunate state of today's Jacob.
My brother the dinosaur.