Vegetarian for the win

Abel was a vegetable farmer and his brother Cain -- a shepard. Both brothers offered a sacrifice to God. Abel's sacrifice was accepted, but Cain's was not. Cain filled with jealousy and rage decided to kill his brother by bludgeoning him to death with a rock. After murdering his brother Cain lies to God about it, clearly having learned nothing from his parents. God curses him to be a wanderer protected from premature death. Some wackos believe the curse of Cain to be Biblical evidence of vampires while our slightly crazier pre 1978 Mormon friends believe it to be the explanation of the creation of black people.

When I was little I often became angry with my sisters and chase them into their rooms wielding a plastic bat or golf club. I never actually hit them though. My sister Jenna would always throw open her door and steal my weapon and then hide it under her bed. When Jenna moved out and we moved her bed we found a plethora of my old sports equipment tucked neatly under her bed. The only time I remember ever physically attacked one of my sisters happened when I was fairly young. Jenna made me angry and I punched her in the stomach knocking the wind out of her. She began gasping for breath and I was terrified. I thought I had pulled a Cain and killed my sister in a fit of rage. Thankfully that wasn't the case, but after that I never hit either of my sisters again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cain_and_abel

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fe/The_Hill_Cumorah_by_C.C.A._Christensen.jpeg/325px-The_Hill_Cumorah_by_C.C.A._Christensen.jpeg