Jacob and Esau

Alright, so Isaac and Rebekah had two sons, the eldest was a manly, testosterone filled brute with lots of hair named Esau, and the younger was a timid but smart mama's boy who knew his way around a kitchen.

Isaac loved Esau more because he hunted and brought back game for the family, and Rebekah loved Jacob more because he hung out with her all day at home. Clearly there is a major division within this family. I'm sure Dr. Phil would've given up the rest of his hair to get this family on his nightmare of a show.

Let it be known that in those days, the eldest son of the family was the one to obtain the father's inheritance, and take over the estate and whatever else the dad owns at the time of his death. So, naturally, Jacob was jealous, and wanted Esau's birthright.

So one time, after a long day of hunting, Esau came home with a nice catch of game, but a terribly empty stomach. Jacob knew he would come back hungry, so he used his skills to whip up some tasty soup. Esau came home and was like "Bro, gimme summa that soup, I'm starving!" And Jacob, in an act of manipulation of Esau's id, told him that he could have all the soup he wanted if Esau gave up his birthright to Jacob.

For some reason, Esau thought that this was a fair trade, and gave Jacob his father's inheritance for a little bit of soup. Stupid Esau. Who wants soup that much anyway? Nobody. It probably didn't even have oyster crackers in it.

As far as MY birthright, I'm not sure that I'm entitled to anything, really. My parents brought me into this world, and they can take me out. They don't owe me anything. But, luckily, they're nice enough to feed me, support me, and give me a place to stay. The free wifi is just a bonus.