Breaking the Ice

Tonight I went on Facebook to look.
I wanted to see the you I remember.
You're still beautiful,
But not the beautiful I see in these photos.
Now you're just beautiful on the outside,
Killing anything that peers in.

A few months ago I tried to look in
And at the time it was just a look.
But you made sure to keep me on the outside
Thinking I'd give up so easily, but remember
I set my heart on things and cling to the photos
That hold my memories, even when they aren't so beautiful.

Even when it didn't feel so beautiful,
You were the soul I found comfort in.
So I called you, and I was looking at that photo,
And I craved more than just a look.
It was a longing for you, the you I remember,
But she no longer exists. The you I remember is only a mirage on the outside,

And you keep me on the outside
Looking in. I miss you because what we shared was beautiful,
As fucking intense as it was. I wanted the us like I remember,
Though I know that's out of the question. I threw my two pennies in,
But I never told you I missed you. I just told you I wanted the one look.
And so now all I've got is these photos,

And God I want so much more. Photos
Don't even begin to show how we really were, not even on the outside.
This isn't how it was supposed to be, or even how it was supposed to look.
We were supposed to grow up together and have something so beautiful
And here we are instead. Here we are in
the same room, avoiding eye contact, denying ourselves a love so beautiful.

We spoiled a something so beautiful
Over nothing. And now we're nothing like the photos,
Nothing like my memories. We're cold. And in
All honesty, I know we would never work now. Outside
of a forced contact, we're nothing. God, you're so beautiful,
But I can't stand to see you anymore. I can't stand to look.

But I do look, and I remember, and I stare.
You're so beautiful, But you're only a memory
From a photo, forever frozen, and I can't break the ice.



Paragraph thingy:
Okay I changed what some would call a lot. In my original, I had some wordy stanzas, and so I changed the third and fourth stanzas quite a bit. I also did the last stanza incorrectly, so I fixed that. And I like it much better this way. Shoutout to Sarah for being the best peer editor ever.